Sorcery
by K.E.Degz
Summary: It's been six months since the battle with Ultimecia. Rinoa's sorceress powers have been experiencing a debilitating spike, and it's affecting her mood, her mind, and her relationship with Squall. Will she learn to control these powers? Chap 2 up! R
1. Change

**Disclaimer: **I don't own FF8. Der… *sighs sadly*

It's been six months since the battle with Ultimecia. Rinoa's sorceress powers are growing, and she's having trouble coping with it. Her moods have erratically changed, as have her feelings towards Squall. Her golden life at Garden is changing, and so is she. R&R please!

* * *

**Sorcery**

_Don't make a sound_.

Eyes clenched. Blood ran down like sweat in black hair.

_Just keep running_.

A heartbeat. Pitch black, and then yellow. A tiny fairy, very beautiful. She held a white lily. The lily began to bleed, as if it was being filled with it. The fairy's head opened like a bear trap and swallowed the flower whole.

_Don't look back; just keep running_.

Sharp eyes froze her. She ran. So did the fairy, getting bigger all the time. _Aren't fairies supposed to be tiny? _Gaining, gaining. Gone. Everything is gone, all but the forest. The thing waiting in the forest is not hungry, but it's waiting.

_It's waiting for you._

******

She woke with a start, sweat-covered yet freezing cold. Her toes felt numb, as if she had been walking barefoot in snow. She sat up, wiping off her brow. The moon was exactly at the window, staring her in the face. That sad face, moaning, looking into her. It was about four in the morning; she knew this because the moon aligned exactly there when it was four in the morning. At her side, he was asleep still. Even though he didn't know it, she always awoke before he did. She would simply rest her eyes until he woke. After all, she wasn't accustomed to waking so early. At least, she hadn't been before.

Rinoa suddenly felt tense. She climbed out of bed and went into the bathroom.

Upon clicking the light on, she gave a tiny groan from the shock of the yellow light. She practically peeled the white cotton shirt off of her lithe body. Making sure the door was closed behind her, she stared at her body in the mirror. Slender, yet not thin. No ribs could be seen, really, but the bones of her hips and collarbone were quite apparent. Her skin appeared yellow with the light. Her wrists seemed smaller, somehow, like they had shrunk. She had always been a fan of her own legs, however. Rinoa had danced for years, so she was always particularly proud of them. Not lately, though. Lately, her entire body seemed to be betraying her.

She sat on the toilet and turned on the water. Squall wouldn't wake up at the sound of the water - he never did - but even if he did he would go back to sleep once he saw the line of light around the bathroom door and that his lover was missing from her side of the bed. She hugged herself, shivering. Her body was truly betraying her lately. She wasn't hungry at all, and it was beginning to show. the sensuous curves of her waist and softness of her thighs seemed to be diminishing. Her arms seemed thinner, too, as did her face. Her hair was growing quite long, now, which she enjoyed braiding, but it was so different. It seemed so thick, now, like the mane of a wild mare. Steam rose as the tub filled; she was so grateful that Squall's position demanded that he have a tub in the bathroom. Her undergarments fell to the floor, and she stepped into the water.

Lying at the bottom of the bathtub, Rinoa always seemed to get her best ideas. Since childhood, she would pretend that she had fins. Mermaids and fish always were the subject of fascination with the young Miss Caraway. Sometimes, she would fill the tub and get in to lie at the bottom, clothes and all. After her mother died, Rinoa had tried on some occaisions to drown herself. The grown Rinoa, however, merely closed her eyes and let bubbles escape from her lips. She could hold her breath for an impressive amount of time, considering she hadn't been a SeeD; she didn't even try to join SeeD. She considered it once, but then remembered: she had _hired_ SeeD to liberate Timber. It didn't seem right to join.

She opened her eyes, feeling the familiar sting that water-on-cornea brought. Everything was blurry. Her arms were lain over her breasts. She closed her eyes again, feeling the water around her naked skin. She pushed herself up, her long black hair clinging to her white skin. Her bangs fell over, near her nose now. She imagined that she must look like a horror film, coming out of the water like that. She felt more relaxed now, more at ease. Closing her eyes, she imagined what it would be like to live under water. No lies, for you couldn't speak to tell them. No heat nor wind, no crying. Just peace and beautiful light. Other fish that shone like jewels. She reached up and wiped some wet hair away from her face. She did not scream when she opened her eyes to see that skin had grown between her fingers. She brought what was once her long white legs up out of the water. It was now a fin, covered with white and orange scales, like a koi fish. She felt the skin on her neck wanting to slit, to become gils. A knock.

"Rinoa?"

A splash, and then a few small gasps until her body returned to normal. She brought her knees up to her naked chest and examined her fingers quickly before returning them to the water. _That was close_.

"Come in," she called.

Squall opened the door, walking in and squinting at the light. "What are you doing?"

_I could ask you the same thing!_ "Taking a bath." She moved to the edge of the tub and laid her arms around the rim, as if she was resting at the edge of a swimming pool. Her body stretched out in the porcelain of the tub. The heat was helping how sore she felt. Her heart was still pounding from the shock of him being awake.

He knelt and kissed her forehead, yawning a little as he spoke. "You're going to catch a cold."

"The water's hot," she offered.

Squall stood and took a white towel off the rack. "Come out of there. I don't want you to get sick."

Rinoa sighed inwardly and slowly stood. Squall held up the towel and wrapped it around her, averting his eyes as she adjusted it. She stepped out and he bent to unplug the tub; the water flowed down the drain. Everything in that bathroom was so deliciously beige. There were some candles that had never been lit on the counter, as well as a bar of soap on a little white soap dish. Rinoa's hair products and make up were all messily organized in the drawer on the left. Squall's drawer was on the right, which was the home of an electric toothbrush, a comb, and a razor.

A white towel came around Rinoa's hair from behind. Squall kissed her ear gently. "It's because I love you, Rin."

She smiled. "I know," she whispered, wrapping her long hair up. "Where's Angelo?" she asked, if only to make conversation. _In the back, on her bed by the washing machine, where she always is. Why?_

"In the back, on her bed by the washing machine, where she always is," replied Squall. He massaged his eyes a little, messed with his hair a little, before he said "Why?"

She shook her head and bent to throw her clothes in the hamper. "No reason. I just wonder if she's alright sometimes." She pulled out her hair dryer. "You know, since she doesn't sleep with me anymore." _If she didn't get fur everywhere, she could sleep on the bed._

"If she didn't get fur everywhere, she could sleep on the bed."

Rinoa sometimes wondered if Squall was even aware that they would have this same conversation many mornings. She thought it loving and a little sweet that she knew what he was going to say before he did. He was predictable. Loveable. Stable. He was very "-ble." She did wonder why he was up suddenly. This was new. Squall sat on the toilet as she turned on her hair dryer and flipped her head over, combing it out with her long fingers. Lately, it hadn't been so charming. Lately, it had been eerie.

"Have you lost weight?" he asked suddenly.

_So, you're noticing now?_ Rinoa flipped her head back upright and tousled the damp tendrils with her hand, the shrill whirr of the hairdryer echoing through the walls. "Does it show?" She tried to sound nonchalant about it.

"Rinoa, I always thought you were perfect. You don't need to lose weight. Besides, it's not good if you're trying to get stronger."

_It's not really intentional, you know. Maybe you'll start noticing that I haven't been able to eat at all lately? Maybe you'll even notice that sex has been useless lately. _"I know," she said. Her hair was almost fully dry. She pulled a round brush from her drawer and began blowing it out with more of a gentle flip at the ends. Her hair was definitely thicker, so she could no longer just let it go limp. It needed style and direction now. She eyed his reflection as he stood and came next to her. He smiled at her sweetly, betraying the worry in his eyes.

The thing one must understand about Sorcery is that it is not only an art, but a puzzle. The more you figure out, the more is revealed - and these are things that you didn't know were there in the first place. Not only could water bend for her, but she found that she could change her body to another form. Fire would now waiver at her touch, as would smoke. The thoughts of others could be seen in their reflections; this was the strangest, most frightening of all. Not only would the reflections speak, but they would walk around and pace, as if they were really saying the thoughts that their stoic, still body was thinking. Squall's reflection moved slowly, insecurely as it spoke his thoughts.

_"Rinoa has been so quiet lately. She's probably thinking about joining SeeD again? I wish I knew... She's never been like this before. I would say I hated it when she's quiet, but she doesn't _get_ quiet. Rinoa, please talk to me... I can't stand being away from you. I love you so much."_

She smiled and put down the hairdryer, and the brush. She turned and kissed Squall, firmly and lovingly. "I love you, too." Squall smiled and held her close. She heard his thoughts saying _"Thank you for always hearing me_._"_

******

The next morning - when the sun was actually up - Squall was making himself a pot of coffee. Rinoa was reading the newspaper with Angelo's head on her lap. She was trying to lick Rinoa's face, but stopped once she realized it was a bit far for her. Galbadia was still in political turmoil, dealing with the newly elected President Antonio Caraway as its leader. Timber was still occupied. The Balamb lottery numbers were 34 2 10 26 47 29. Zelda S Lune wrote a review on the Balamb Hotel and how it was a perfect 'seaside getaway' for honeymooning couples. There was a new comic in the Accent section featuring a talking lion and a little boy.

"Rinoa?" She turned her head to look behind her. "I'm going to the Bridge now. We're going to be leaving for FH soon and docking there in four days."

"I remember you mentioning," she said, smiling. "I liked it there."

"I know," he said, coming to kiss her on the forehead. He scratched Angelo behind the ears. "I hear there are some promising recruits for SeeD there."

"I see," she said. "Growing the armies?"

"SeeD isn't an army," Squall said, sipping his coffee. "We're mercenaries. A school. But I guess I know what you mean. SeeD has been very popular lately. You know, since six months ago… I'll be down with Cid if you need me, okay?" He turned to leave.

_Say it, Rinoa, say it_. "Actually..." Squall suddenly stopped. "I was thinking."

"Thinking what?"

"About Timber…" His face froze. "Timber is occupied by Galbadia still." Rinoa could only half-believe that he seemed to have forgotten completely about the reason they had met in the first place. Angelo hopped off of the couch as Rinoa stood. "I want it free."

"Oh..."

"Squall," she said, hating the thought of having to say this. "Like it or not, we're still under contract. 'Until Timber reaches independence,' remember?"

"I do, but... I don't know, Rinoa, it's a hard job. And I honestly always thought that you were just doing the Forest Owls to rebel against your father--" He stopped. Shocked. Absolutely shocked that he had said that. Rinoa was shocked too.

"What?!?" The glasses in the kitchen shook at the sound of her voice. The fern on the bookshelf seemed to shiver. (The fern was Rinoa's idea--Squall would never think on his own to care for plants indoors.) How could Squall Leonhart say such a thing? He had said some insensitive things before, but this one took the cake.

_Take him out. Make him respect you_. _He is no match for you_.

_Shut up!!_ screamed Rinoa's mind; she clenched her eyes suddenly and turned, holding her head. Squall took a few steps towards her. "Don't!" she shouted. "Just go do your job!"

"But Rinoa--"

"I said go! We'll talk later! Go!" The walls moved. A moment passed before Squall seemed to get the hint enough to leave. Angelo put a paw at Rinoa's leg.

_"Mommy? Are you sad?"_ Rinoa hugged Angelo close; she licked her face to comfort her. _"He didn't mean to make you sad. He's just not that smart."_

"I know," whispered Rinoa. "I'm sorry you have to sleep in the back by the washing machine."

_"I'm a dog. It's okay."_

******

As vapid and shallow as it made her feel sometimes, shopping was always a therapeutic way to get your mind off of your idiot boyfriend. Nearly a year, and no progress had been made on Timber. Nearly a year, and she had little to nothing to show for it. Her sorceress powers were expanding tremendously, and she felt more and more out of place at Garden. What was she _doing_ there? She hated Gardens of any and all kinds since she was sent to the one in Galbadia at thirteen. The only good thing that had come from being there for three years was about to come waltzing around the corner.

"Heey, Rinny!"

Warm red hair flowed in the wind, wafting over strong shoulders and a tall frame. His teeth were white, square and his lips were thin yet sensual. His eyes were cool like mint, yet warm like grass; Irvine Kinneas, her first real friend… The first one to ever turn a kind eye to her in Galbadia Garden.

He came and planted a kiss on her cheek. "Is somebody doing a puzzle? Because I just found a hot piece!"

Rinoa laughed. "You'd better be careful - Selphie might get jealous."

His wry smirk warmed Rinoa's heart. "Not when she sees this birthday present I'm getting for her!"

She gasped. "That's right! She'll be eighteen in two weeks!" Rinoa slapped her forehead. "I can't believe I almost forgot. I only came out shopping for some fresh air, since we'll be at sea soon." She laughed. "What are you getting her?"

"Err..." He laughed nervously, scratching the back of his neck. "Actually, come to think of it, I have no idea. I was thinking of getting her something like a dress, but..."

"But you have no idea what size to get?" Rinoa finished. "Do you really think that Selphie would want a dress for her birthday?"

Irvine shrugged. "I can't think of anything else. Her weapons have already been upgraded to the full extent, and she's not much of a bookworm. Say, Rinoa, you and she are about the same size, aren't you?"

_Actually, we weren't before. I _used_ to have some curves... Selphie was so much smaller than me, but then I started losing all this weight._ "We are," Rinoa said. "Would you like me to help? I'm sure that we can find something that Selphie would love! Something she can wear to the next Garden festival... Something festive. It'll be from the both of us!"

Irvine swept Rinoa into his arms in a bear hug. "You're the best!"

A few moments later, Irvine and Rinoa were in a nearby clothing store. Rinoa was trying on a bright pink tank dress with tiny yellow polka dots around the hemline. She spun around in the mirror and glanced at her reflection. She was different. Selphie's petite nature would fit nicely with a dress like this, and the color was happy and bright.

"So like, whaddaya think? Is that the dress or is that the dress?" Irvine asked.

"I don't know," Rinoa said. "It's very nice, but..."

"But what?"

Rinoa shrugged. "This is totally Selphie's style; I guess I just wished she would wear more green. She has such beautiful green eyes, and I think she'd look fantastic in that green halter in the window."

Irvine looked at the mannequin Rinoa had been pointing at. "Wow, that'd be amazing." Irvine's reflection spoke his thoughts. _"Boy am I glad I'm not doing this alone...Rinoa's so amazing!_ She smiled as Irvine went to fetch the dress from the shop attendant. His reflection kept thinking, speaking. _"Its a relief that Squall finally came around--ooh, nice ass on you honey--I thought I would have to kill him if he--hot damn, are those real?? Boy Rinoa sure is pretty... She got so pretty since she sprouted that melon patch..."_ Rinoa bit her own tongue in order to keep from laughing out loud.

"Let me see that dress," she said, taking it into the dressing room."Ooh, this is looking great already!" She emerged with it on, the flirty hemline playing around her thighs. The straps clung to her strong shoulders gently and accentuated the feminine curves of her breasts. "Remember, Selphie's a little shorter than me so it'll be long on her."

"That looks amazing!" said Irvine. "Wow! That's definitely it."

_"Damn, if Selphie's ass and Rinoa's rack could be on the same body..._" said Irvine's reflection, blatantly circling around Rinoa's reflection in the mirror. She giggled a little.

_"Slutty bitch..." _

Rinoa spun her head around to see an angry reflection of the same smiling shop girl that was complimenting her on the dress choice.

_"Fucking abomination that she's allowed to walk around in public... Every day I see her with a different man. I hope she really is five-timing that cute SeeD Commander. I need that extra 200 gil..."_

Instead of retreating, Rinoa had the greatest desire to come right out and say that the otherwise perfect dress must have been cheap and worthless for being in such a tacky shop...but this was for Selphie. She would have to put her expanding powers on hold and think of her friend instead.

"You get this one for Selphie, Irvine. I'll buy her that perfume in the counter," Rinoa said, disappearing into the dressing room again. She emerged wearing her normal blue attire and boots, holding the dress over her arm.

"But I'm her boyfriend!" said Irvine. "Wouldn't something like perfume be better coming from me?" Rinoa shrugged. "Come on, Rinny. Would you rather get a dress from Squall or perfume?"

She scoffed. "Like Squall would ever get me either? He's terrible with gifts. He got me a box of chocolates for _my_ birthday."

"But then he took you out to that cabin in the Gaulg Mountains to make up for it later," Irvine said.

"Only after you told him to," laughed Rinoa. Irvine scratched the back of his neck, laughing in embarassment. "Squall's not really romantic on his own."

"Whoa... You never would have said that before." The two made their way to the counter. "Is everything alright between you two?"

"It's nothing," said Rinoa. "I've just been feeling strange lately. I think I might be sick." This was code; it did _not_ mean 'sick.'

"Why don't you talk to Edea?" Irvine suggested, pulling out his wallet.

"I'd like that little bottle of 'Feather,' please," Rinoa said to the cashier, pointing to the little round bottle of perfume behind the counter. "We're all going to FH soon...I don't want to bother her. She's so happy being with Cid now, forgetting about her life of Sorcery."

"I'm just saying that it can't hurt, especially if you're—well—you know," Irvine said as he paid for the dress. "Could you wrap that up for me please? Thanks. Anyway, Rinoa, she's probably dealt with everything by now. She's a wise lady."

_"I swear if we don't get this fan fixed soon - I am stifling in here!"_ screamed the cashier's thoughts. Rinoa saw her sweating earlier...she was probably going through menopause.

"I'll think about it. No, no - don't even think about paying for the perfume. You've done your part," she said, winking. Pulling out her own wallet, she noticed an old credit card that had been in her father's name. It said Rinoa Caraway on it. It was one that wasn't due to expire for another two years. She also hadn't used it in a good two years for fear of her father finding her, but... "Why don't you give this one a try. I just want to see if it still works." It probably wouldn't work, but it was worth--

"Would that be credit or debit, Miss Caraway?"

Rinoa blinked in shock. She felt Irvine's wide eyes on her. "Uh...credit. Thanks." The card had gone through. The General hadn't closed the card down? That wasn't like him...

"Shall I gift wrap this for you as well, Miss Caraway?" _"Please say no, please say no...I need my goddamn smoke break...!"_

Rinoa put on her friendliest smile. "No, the bag will do. I'll wrap it myself, thank you." The two exited the store. The seething gaze of the angry shop girl was burning into the back of Rinoa's neck. The ocean was whispering in a harsh yet silent scream today. This meant that a whale had just died somewhere in it. Or perhaps a ship was lost. Or something like that. She was still new at this whole 'voices of nature' thing. Angelo came up and barked as she joined at Rinoa's side.

"Hey girl!" said Irvine, scratching her behind the ears. "There's my princess! Yes you are!"

Rinoa had always liked Irvine since they day that they met. Angelo was Rinoa's replacement friend over the summers when she would return home and be reduced to letters in her contact with Irvine. The two had grown apart since she had met Seifer, and it was something she had regretted for some time. After all, it was Irvine that had given Rinoa her first kiss - not Seifer.

"Irvine?" Rinoa asked. "May I ask you something?"

"Shoot!" he said.

"Do you think I tried to liberate Timber out of rebellion towards my father?"

He blinked. "Where did you get an idea like that?" he asked, shifting his weight from one leg to the other.

"I don't know. I wanted to re-explore liberating Timber soon. I feel like I've lost track of my goals here."

Irvine paused for a moment. He looked at her quizzically, studying her expression. "Well..." he began. "You fell in love, Rin. That's a distraction."

"I suppose..."

"But look--Galbadia's dealing with some nutty times right now. I mean with the election and— Oh hey! Maybe you can even go to Deling City and speak with your father now! He _is_ the new President," Irvine offered as gently as he could. "Come on, Angel. Don't you think it's time to forgive and forget? Being around us should be reminder enough that you're lucky to have one of your parents still alive."

Irvine was right. And after this morning, Rinoa somehow felt that she would get a better listening ear from her father than she would from Squall. Perhaps she would travel to Deling City on her own. Perhaps she would leave before Squall had a chance to object. Perhaps she would just forget all about Squall and Garden and live off the land, being a crazy old spinster lady in the mountains. _You can't camp to save your life_, Rinoa reminded herself bitterly. _You'll just sneak off after you get back from FH on the train to Deling, stay in the fancy hotel, and barge into the Presidential Mansion as if you actually belong there._

These thoughts stayed with her until she returned to Balamb that night.

* * *

R&R!! new chapters to come!


	2. Nightmares

**Disclaimer**: I do not own FF8 or its characters. *sigh* Sad...

**Summary**: Rinoa's sorceress powers are rising and violently tearing her mind apart. The only release she seems to find involves water of some kind, but she cannot tell Squall about any of it. She recounts the moments in her life once her powers were acquired, and begins to form theories in her head about her life and how she may have somehow had some evil hand in shaping it. Worse and worse, her nightmares are becoming more graphic, and she begins to lose touch with reality. Can she find the strength to control of this curse and rise above, or will she submit to the madness that - it seems - Ultimecia was drawn to?

* * *

_Hot. So hot.._.

A watery village. A dead animal in the stream, making the water go black and the fish float up, dead.

_Burning. Smoke._

The smell of burning flesh. A Memory was ringing. Ringing. Ringing and now screaming.

_No. It's not the memory. It's you that screams, now._

* * *

"Rinoa!"

Her eyes flashed open with a sweaty silence. Everything seemed to be on mute. Squall was shaking her violently. She tried to move, but could not; was this still the dream?

"Rinoa, wake up!"

"Huh??" A few gasps before she could find her voice again. She had fallen asleep on the couch after returning to Balamb Garden. She could smell the ocean from the open window, and hear the wind saying that she was now out to sea. A pile of books on Sorcery from the library sat on the glass coffee table. It was night. "Oooh…" She held her head.

"Rinoa, are you alright?" Squall sat next to her and wrapped his arms around her shoulders. "Shh, it's okay. It was only a dream." When his lips found her forehead, he was surprised at how warm she felt. "You're burning up! I knew you would get sick…"

"……"

"Rinoa, I'm sorry about this morning. You're right. Before we even knew each other, I promised you my services as a SeeD. You were my first ever mission and you led me on… Well, I'm just saying that I'm sorry. As soon as we get done in FH, we're all going to Deling City and negotiating with the President." There was genuine enthusiasm in his voice. He loved her so much. She could hear him. _"Please, talk to me again…"_

"Squall…" she whispered, a tear running down her cheek. "I keep seeing faces. My powers…"

"Your Sorceress powers?" he asked.

"They're growing—"

"That's great! I know you've been trying hard to control them."

"I think…they're holding memories. Memories from the Sorceresses that once had these powers. I remember burning. Drowning. I was eaten alive…" Bitter sobs choked her tender throat. "These faces—so many faces…!"

"Rinoa…" _"What's wrong? What can I do? There's nothing I can do… Maybe Matron?"_ "Rinoa, why don't you talk to Matron about this? Rinoa? Rinoa!"

"What?" Rinoa asked. "Why are you screaming?"

Squall suddenly knelt in front of her, holding her shoulders tightly. "Rinoa stop! It's okay! We're okay!"

"What are you talking about?"

He held her shoulders tighter, blood appeared on Squall's face. She heard screaming. "Rinoa! RINOA!! Look at me!!!"

"I _am_ looking at you! What are you doing??"

Squall started twitching and swinging his head from side to side, blood flew from his eyes. "Rinoa! RINOA STOP THIS NOW!!!"

"I'M NOT DOING ANYTHING!" The windows shattered. Everything went black. She woke up three hours later in the Infirmary, in the intensive care, strapped to the bed. She wanted to scream, but heard nothing when she opened her mouth.

"_Rinoa?" _

She saw own her reflection standing over her own body in the mirror, naked, caked in black paint. _"It's time to wake up now._"

* * *

Sunlight woke her this time. It had been four days since she had mentioned Timber to Squall. He had barely mentioned anything since then, and they were now docked in FH. Rinoa rose and dressed herself quickly. Her nightmares were getting steadily worse, and she could feel a sensation like bugs running through her veins. Her first instinct was to get in the water—it was the only place that she seemed to have control over her powers—but she instead strapped on her boots and ran out the door with Angelo at her side. She would have to burn this off in the Training Centre.

Upon arrival, a blanket of hot tropical air fell on her face. Her mind was racing with pages of books on the topic of sorcery, many of which were written by Dr Odine(and, fortunately, were not written with his accent). She even remembered Edea once speaking to her about her powers. It was the night after the battle; Squall and she kissed for the first time that night. Edea's words were what was on Rinoa's mind that night, on the balcony before he kissed her…

"_You may come to me again if need be, but as far as your powers go, just let them happen. Want it, and let yourself have it."_

_Want it, and let yourself have it._ Rinoa stopped at a rock to catch her breath. She began to wonder about her life since she attained these powers. Back in school, she remembered something called the Leapfrogging Matrix—a way to remember things. _What happened around the time I got my powers that marked me? Was it before I discovered them? Was it after?_ A moment or two passed and she leaned against a large boulder that was against the side of a rail. Angelo nudged her hand. She scratched Angelo's ears as she thought.

_Matron... Edea_. Right before she received her powers, the battle with the possessed Edea at Galbadia Garden took place. After the battle, she was weak and tired. Her arms were sore and her fingers were bleeding from her…Cardinal. Yes, her weapon was a Cardinal at the time. She knew, because she remembered not seeing any blood against the red wings. What happened? She became possessed by Ultimecia. And then blackness, the fairy, the dream forest… Then Squall. The dream with Squall and their promise to see shooting stars. She was searching all over Timber, Galbadia, Balamb and Trabia—all the places she had been with Squall to. She wanted to find Squall, but more importantly, she had wanted Squall to find her.

_Find me?_

Angelo's head turned towards a grove of trees. _After the battle was over, and after Edea had said those things to me…_ Rinoa's mind began to wander. All she could think of that night was how perfect this all was. For a moment, looking up at those stars, she had forgotten her sorcery dilemma. All she was thinking was how she wished this story had a perfect ending. And then Squall came, as did the shooting star, as did the kiss. Angelo began to snarl towards the grove, her fur standing up straight on her back. Rinoa's mind was far away.

_If I wanted the perfect ending, and I got it…does that mean that Squall's kiss meant nothing?_ Rustling in the grass made Angelo start to bark. _Did Squall want to rescue me from my coma because he wanted to or because I wanted him to want to??_ The step of a monster; a clawed foot coming into the dappled fluorescent light towards them; Angelo was barking furiously. _Does he even love me at all or is he under a spell?!_

The ground shook and a T-Rexaur roared loud enough to snap Rinoa out of her thoughts. She gave a shriek and dove out of the way as its jaws snapped at her. She caught herself on her hands and cart-wheeled to her feet.

"Angelo Strike!" she commanded as she loaded her weapon. Angelo jumped and vaulted off of a boulder, somersaulting in the air and landing forcefully on the T-Rexaur's head. Rinoa whistled and called Angelo back to her side as she fired her Shooting Star. It caught against the T-Rexaur's jaw, making it roar in anger. Her heart began to race again—the feeling of bugs running through her veins heightened, as if the bugs were now rushing to her fingertips.

"_Want and let yourself have it!_" screamed Edea's voice. The T-Rexaur was flailing its head wildly, as if blinded. She took in a deep breath.

"_Dig deep,_" said Angelo, ducking behind her.

Rinoa felt her eyes flash—it was as if she saw herself, mighty and golden-eyed against all obstacles. She raised her hands, blue and gold energy flowing around her. She remembered Edea's weapon of ice. Sorcery was the mastery of the elements, of magic, of forces around you. She thought of the GFs and their enormous powers over their own elements; the GFs were the masters of their own domain. Rinoa's only affinity was water.

Leviathan! Rinoa's highest compatibility was always with Leviathan, regardless of how much she tended to favor Siren. She then knew what to do—master the water first. The T-Rexaur couldn't swim with those scrawny arms, but as Angelo rushed and struck the monster while she thought, she saw the waterfall in the corner of her eye.

"Angelo, move!" she commanded. She fired her Cardinal another time, this time catching the T-Rexaur in the eye. He swung his great tail blindly into a nearby tree, Rinoa diving out of the way. She raised her arms towards the waterfall. If only she could get the water around the T-Rexaur's head. A Water spell would do the trick, but it was time to abandon the spells in her stock and work with what was around her. She visualized the water coming out of the waterfall and wrapping around the monster's head, or even going down its nose and throat.

"_Want it, and let yourself have it._"

She saw the water, falling on the rocks. Time seemed to slow, as did the water dropping on the rocks. She called to the water, for them to come to her aid. They moved further and further away from the rocks and towards her hands. She then spun and threw her arms towards the T-Rexaur's face. It flailed wildly and when it roared, the water went down into its throat. Its roaring gargled and squalled in agony, but she brought the water further and further down its throat, enveloping its massive head. Angelo barked as the water swamped its lungs; it soon dropped to the ground, dead.

Rinoa fell to her knees. She saw the bloodied eyes staring dead at her. It never bothered her before, but it did now. Angelo licked her face to snap her attention.

"_Mommy did good_." She smiled and wrapped her arms around her dog.

"Yeah…" she whispered. "Mommy did good."

* * *

That morning, Rinoa went to the Cafeteria feeling a strange combination of loathing and admiration for herself. This honestly wasn't that much different from drawing spells from other monsters and re-casting them yourself. Why would it be? The only difference is that you have the magic already; you're the monster.

_I'm the monster_.

"Heeey!" squealed a high-pitched female voice. "Rinoa, over here!" It was Selphie, sitting at a nearby table by the window. "I got one too many hot dogs, come and join me!"

Rinoa smiled and sauntered over to Selphie's table. She pulled up a chair and sat down. "How are you, birthday girl?"

"Aw, I'm gonna be old," she said with a giggle. "But I'm good—here, have this one." She said, pushing a hot dog at Rinoa's hand. Rinoa nodded and took a bite, a sharp twist in her stomach making her eye twitch. Fortunately, she was able to hide it. Rinoa needed to eat, even if she had to force herself.

"Thanks," Rinoa said. "How's the festival coming along?"

"Oh it's great. We have lots of students that are a part of the committee this year, so it'll be great. Maybe we can stay in FH for a while and have it there again?"

"That _was_ fun last year, wasn't it?" commented Rinoa, forcing herself to take another bite of hot dog. She didn't want this slop—it was as if her body was hungering for sweet water from a mountain spring, and only that would do. "Selphie, can I ask you a favor?"

"What's up?"

"Do you have Leviathan?"

Selphie paused. "Uh, yeah—why?"

"Could I…" She paused. "Could I trade you? I have Siren and Pandemona junctioned right now. It's just that I've always had such a high compatibility with Leviathan and…well, you know." She gave a shy look.

Selphie thought for a moment, and then shrugged. "Sure, I like Pandemona better anyway. Here ya go!"

"Thanks!" As Rinoa took the little blue-white gemstone in her hand, she could feel the Leviathan's power. The gem itself seemed to swirl with the currents of the ocean. She smiled at Selphie and junctioned the gem to her weapon. "Um, Irvine has a great birthday present for you!" said Rinoa, trying to change the subject.

"Really?? Whoo-hoo! Irvy always gives the best gifts!" Selphie squealed. Quistis walked up to the girls, her hair in perfect order as always.

"Quiet down, ladies, this is a cafeteria," said Quistis jokingly; she sat down. "I only have a few minutes until I have to get back to my classes. What are we talking about?"

"Selphie's birthday," Rinoa said.

"Eighteen," Quistis sighed. "Are you excited?"

"I want a big party!" said Selphie. "With music and dancing and everything!"

"I'll bet we can get Cid to let us use the ballroom for it," said Rinoa. "Or maybe I can get Squall to? He _is_ the Commander."

"_Yes, yes, we get it—Squall is head over heels for you._" Rinoa glanced down through her lashes as Quistis' reflection in the tile floor beneath them spoke. She felt a tiny pain in her chest as she took in a slow breath.

"Are you okay?" Selphie asked, taking Rinoa's hand.

She nodded quickly. "Yeah, fine—I just thought I saw a bug."

"You're afraid of bugs?" Selphie asked, puzzled.

"Aren't all girls afraid of bugs?" The girls shrugged. Rinoa sighed. "Is Edea around?"

The question took the two of them by surprise. Quistis was the first to speak. "I don't know. Cid would probably know where she is, though." She suddenly looked at the watch on her wrist. "I'd better get back to my class. I'll see you two later. Bye." Quistis smiled and gave a light bow, leaving the girls to their chatter.

"_What would it be like to be that free…?_" Quistis' reflection spoke. Rinoa's heart wrenched for her.

"Rin, are you okay?" Selphie asked. "You can always talk to me! We're best friends forever, right?"

Rinoa smiled and nodded. "Right! But…" she leaned in. "You have to promise me not to tell Squall about this, okay? Pinkie-swear?" Rinoa held out her right pinkie.

Selphie nodded and held up her pinkie to twist it around Rinoa's. "Pinkie-swear. What is it?"

"Well…" Rinoa glanced around, as if she were afraid that someone would overhear. (The student thoughts she _could_ hear suggested that they were preoccupied with other things, though.) "It's my sorceress powers. They've been…really intense lately."

"Well yeah," said Selphie. "You've got not only Matron's powers, but Adel's _and_ Ultimecia's. To be honest, I've always wondered what that'd be like… Rin, what's it like?"

"Awful," Rinoa bemoaned. "I keep on having nightmares about being chased or burned or…other things."

"And Squall doesn't know about this?" Selphie asked, shocked. "Hasn't he noticed you not sleeping well?"

"This is Squall we're talking about."

"I thought he changed," said Selphie.

"He did," Rinoa said. "but old habits are hard to break, you know? He's been so preoccupied lately, and… Well, it's hard. I mean, we're still kids you know? In retrospect, we're all just kids. We don't know how to deal with a lot of stuff. He's so complicated—I love him so much but…this is hard for me, you know?"

"Oh…" A beat. "Well, what else?"

"I'm getting better at controlling them," Rinoa offered, "but it only seems to be whenever I'm near water of some kind."

"Hmm…" Selphie said. "You know, I remember reading a fairy tale about a sorceress once when I was little. "There was a line there—something about controlling the elements around you. Like…mastering her domain?"

"I read something like that in a book too!" said Rinoa. "A Sorceress had a Fire Apprentice called—" she paused. "It was called Ifrit."

"Look," said Selphie. "When I first joined SeeD, I learned that SeeD's mission was to defeat the Sorceress—no offense—and I remember hearing something like Sorceresses being able to take the world around them and change it. Take molecules and stuff and shape them, like clay!"

Rinoa nodded, leaning her chin on her hand. "Since GFs can manipulate their element, does that mean that a Sorceress is greater than a GF?"

"Remember how long it took to defeat Ultimecia? She knocked out a lot of our GFs."

"Hey, that's right…" Rinoa said. "Maybe you just start out with one element and then spread out? I mean, when you learn something new you start out small… Right?"

"Right!" said Selphie cheerily. "Baby steps! But I think you should talk to Matron about it. She could help. You'll be a Sorceress just like her—the good kind!"

Rinoa nodded. "Yeah, I could…" Regardless of the notion to seek advice from those that are wiser than you, she still had an undeniably huge desire to rebel and figure things out on their own. There was nothing wrong with relying on people, but…one had to learn how to stand on one's own two feet. Right?

"Tell ya what!" said Selphie. "I've got a few things to do with Irvy soon, but why don't you meet me outside in two hours? You know, by the Items Shop in FH? You and I will have some quality girl time and maybe we can figure some stuff out, huh?"

She smiled. "Okay, that sounds great!" She could always count on Selphie… Perhaps this time with her was just what she needed to turn her frown upside down? All she had to do now was figure out what to do for the next two hours.

* * *

**A/N**: Thanks for reading! I'll have chapter 3 up soon! ^_^ In the meantime, check out my new Twilight Fanfic, "Morning." It revolves around Jasper Hale and the mysterious death that surrounds his wife, Alice Cullen. R&R!!!


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